How to Create Conflict Using a Character's Decisions

What is a Good Decision?

What makes a good decision a good decision? What makes a bad decision a bad one? Is it just the consequences of these decisions and our actions, or is there an underlying definition of good and bad.

Many people mess up their lives for years because they let others dictate their definitions of good and bad. They live blindly while others dictated what was good and bad. A life change starts when they stop looking for approval and acceptance from others and start to find out who they are, and in turn, start liking themselves.

Trying to gain other's approval, feeling discouraged when affirmation is withheld, and elated when the smallest praise is received, will cause characters to chase their wants instead of their needs. These characters live to please others. This drained them, leaving them sad emotionally and not physically active - often sick. Their list of successes and accomplishments is very short.

I never realized how these beliefs were ruining my life, and my family's lives, until I worked as a housekeeper. Over the two years that I cleaned house, I started to notice a difference between the families of good women and women who did not fit my definition of good. The first set of women (men) managed their homes and families so well that their adult children still lived at home, had no goals, and no independence. The second set of women (men) gave their children independence, allowing them to grow, but they were there to catch them when they fell.

I started to realize that good and bad are only perceptions. Of course, society has limits: do not steal, do not have an affair, do not kill, do not abandon your responsibilities. We understand these rules because we recognize the damage these things have on others, but more importantly, they can ruin our lives for years. We know they are wrong because they damage our ability to enjoy life, respect ourselves, and be happy – even if it seems like we 'got away with it.'

A second lesson I learned was that success is a habit. Luck plays such a little part in our success, that it really shouldn't be considered a factor at all. All my failures were because I chose to fail, or, in my case, I just didn't know better.

My decisions were not bad because they hurt others or broke the rules of society. My decisions were bad because they made me feel that my personality type was bad/flawed. I bottled-up all my natural gifts, talents, and strengths, so I could become someone who made other people happy.

"There is no such thing as a bad person."

There will always be people in who do bad things. It is important to separate the bad acts people do from the person. This is the first step to understanding and taking control of a character's life. One of the hardest things for a writer to do is create an antagonist, without trying to paint them as a bad person.

An antagonist might hurt others, neglect those who needed their love, fail, make bad choices and decisions. A protagonist who grows out of this behavior will come to a point where they feel hurt and then lead them to change. At first the character will spent a lot of time and effort pretending to be someone else. This will cause them to lack the energy needed to do the good things. As a character grows they start to allow themselves the right to fail. This gives them the strength to take risks, try new things, and experiment.

Antagonists

Many people have a hard time giving themselves permission to make mistakes. People with anger management problems, or relationship problems, have the hardest time with this concept. People with anger management problems (not associated with drinking too much alcohol, pop, or eating too much chocolate) bury their emotions because they feel bad when forced to confront their problem. People who have trouble forming good relationships move from one relationship to the next, working harder and harder to make the relationship work, to prove they are worthy of love, and the problem belonged to the other person.

These traps are created by our perceptions of reality.

Good and bad behavior is based on perceptions. A trap is created when people achieve our goals by continuing a bad behavior, justifying our actions. This alters our perceptions of good and bad.

People continue these behaviors, achieving a certain level of control but:
they are not happy,
do not like ourselves,
do not like the consequences of our actions/decisions,
find ourselves alone,
insomnia, sick, headaches,
self-loathing,
low success rate in relationships and jobs,
few friends,
and feel that people are purposely acting stupid to make them angry.

The good news is that characters can change. By changing their perceptions they can learn to make good decisions. Most books on writing call the concept talked about in this articles a character's wants and needs. Chasing the wants makes them unhappy, unable to succeed, and survive. Giving up the wants, and accepting the needs, makes them happy and brings about the resolution of the story. Good decisions, ones that make the character feel happy, healthy, and improve their emotional health brings a satisfying end to the character growth arc.

Character Growth
This doesn't mean life will become instantly easier. When they started to become emotionally healthy, their old friends drifted away, they lost jobs and opportunities. After changing they find a job that satisfies their needs, and I rearrange their priorities. A good writer will keep a journal to measure their emotional growth.

Good decisions
Remember: A good decision for one person may be a bad decision for another. A good decision when a character is twenty years old may be a bad decision when they are forty. So, how does a writer determine if a decision is good? A good decision is one that does not hurt the character, hurt another character, or start a chain of events that will cause future damage. Of course, the characters decisions at the beginning of the novel will cause future problems, but that is another article.

Exercise:
Write a list of the things the character thinks will make them happy. Write a list of the things the character needs to be happy. Create conflicts to keep the character from achieving their first goals wants. Create a conflicts that will force the character to change their priorities and perceptions. How will the new perceptions force them to realize that their needs will make them happy.

Good writing