Being Successfully Selfish

How to Take Care of Yourself First

WAHM’s rarely have the opportunity to ask themselves, ‘What do I want’, let alone act on it.  But by learning how to be successfully selfish, we can learn to create balance in our lives.

Successfully Selfish:  A New Definition

The dictionary defines ‘selfish’ as ‘devoted to or caring only for oneself…  regardless of others.’  We’re taught growing up that this is always a negative thing to do; that we must always share, always make sure others are happy, always make sure that other’s needs are met – often to the detriment of ourselves. 

But there is a healthy side to selfishness.  I call it being self-full.  It’s allowing yourself to be selfish with your own needs and wants at least a little bit each day. 

Learn to Be Selfishly Healthy

What happens when we begin to put our own needs first?  We find ourselves less needy, more happy, and able to give that much more to those we love.  We fill ourselves up each time we give to ourselves, and it allows us to be more whole and open to all the possibilities around us. 

As a WAHM myself, I have been through the phase of giving to others and making sure everyone else’s needs are met until I break down crying and just want to run away.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and I love the fact that I get to do exactly what I love most.  But I also have needs.  And there isn’t anyone else on the planet who truly knows what my needs are, except me.   So if I don’t find a way to meet them, they won’t get met. 

As I have given myself permission to be a little selfish on a daily basis, I’m realizing I feel more balanced, my relationship with my husband is better, I have more fun with my kids and my writing flows more easily. 

3 Ways WAHM’s Can Be Selfish

1.  Once a week, do exactly what you want to for lunch – even if it only includes dessert.  Let the kids see you do this, and tell them why you’re doing it.  There’s nothing wrong with teaching them to give a little to themselves too.

2.  Give yourself at least 30 minutes to sit down and read your favorite book – the kids can play, the chores can wait, even the email will still be there.

3.  Once a week, let someone else take the kids while you enjoy that nice, long, hot, relaxing bubble bath you really want and need.

Be creative.  We both know there’s a least one thing you really want to do that is just for you.  Give yourself permission to do it and follow through.  You’ll be surprised by how much better you feel, and how much better things in your life will flow.