Are You Sabotaging Your Success?

Everyone wants to succeed, but rejection, fear, failure, and condemnation from others can cause the best of us to unconsciously ruin our chances of success. These problems often surface as anger management problems, low self-esteem, an inability to understand new concepts, anti-social behavior, over eating, procrastination, and always starting something new before finishing a current work-in-progress. Many seat of the pants novel writers fit into the last category. They are not concerned whether they have ten unfinished novels in their filing cabinet, as long as the responsibility of managing a full time writing career is always a goal and never a reality.

Indicators of personal success sabotaging:
_______ does not love me.
_______ is so controlling.
_______ never works.
_______ I am not talented, educated, or skilled enough to succeed.

These beliefs are based on two problems. First, they are true and the victim is allowing another person to take control of their lives. Second, the victim is victimizing themselves by feeding these negative beliefs. Here is the trick. Every time something happens, real or not, that fits this belief, the believe becomes stronger. Then the brain uses these situations to prove that the belief is fact. Then the sub conscious takes over and starts feeding the negative belief by creating more negative beliefs, eventually, these turn inward until they focus on or ability and happiness.

Exercise:
Write down everything you believe about a topic. Look at each statement. Write down things your subconscious believes about each point. Answer the following questions with a yes or no. Does it necessarily have to be like this? First, ask if there is something more positive to believe in. Second, set aside one hour a week to research methods of destroying the negative beliefs and developing a more positive attitude.

People who believe others are nice will have more friends than those who believe that people are abusive and controlling. People who believe they can succeed will produce more work in one hour than someone who believes they always mess up, or their job stinks, or that people are out to get them. People can purposefully take control over their lives by examining the things they believe about themselves, even if these things seem like facts.

Indicators of personal success sabotaging.
I am a struggling writer.
I am not really published.
I am unattractive.
_______ hates me.

It takes time to believe negative statements like the ones above. This time and energy drains a person's attitude, making it harder for them to find the energy needed to put enough effort into a project that it will shine above the rest and lead the writer to success. The good news is, this can be changed. This article has talked about something known as a personal EQ, Emotional Quotient. Someone's emotional quotient can be improved, with enough determination and desire.

Career Professionals and Characters

Studying life coaching is a great way to develop characters. It is also a great way to create a more realistic image of reality. Most of us do not see the world as it really is. We develop an idea of reality based on our knowledge, education, Emotional Quotient EQ, and personal beliefs. Most writers do not realize that the most successful professionals in the world often hire personal coaches at a cost of $500 - $1000 a month. They take courses and attend self improvement seminars. They upgrade their education. All this, and they never feel threatened by the thought that they are not good enough or perfect as they are.

Suzanne James